Dear Future Husband

I don’t know when I’m going to meet you but I look forward to that day. My heart right now is still broken because of so many disappointments and for giving pieces of it to wrong men. I’ve had some blindness issues in the past when I wasn’t able to see how wrong they were for me: wrong time, wrong man, wrong me. That is why I am writing to you now, now that it’s still broken. Because I want you to know that despite my brokenness, I still believe with my whole heart that I will love again. And by that time it will be right. That time it will last because it will be with you.

When time comes that God makes our paths cross, I will be whole again. I will be so sold out in God’s love that His love was able to seal the cracks in my heart so I can offer it to you wholly and completely — without fear, without a doubt. I will love you for your freckles, for your creases on your forehead, your quirks, your unexplainable moods. I will love you even if your feet smells or you don’t have the perfect grammar (grammar nerd alert). I will love you even more because of them.

For now, I hope you’re somewhere basking in God’s love. If in case, at this point in time, your heart is breaking like mine, I hope God will touch you and make you realize that I’m excited to meet you. I’m just going to focus on God’s love first so my wounds will heal. I’m preparing to be Ms Right for the time that I’m going to meet you. I know God is still preparing you as well.

Sending you all the love that this mending heart can give.

Your Ms Right

Irony

Tonight I realized that I am a walking irony.
I always thought that people who always post pictures of themselves all smiles, always captioning the word ‘#happy’ or cannot get enough of smileys are those who are sad deep inside. I never thought I’d be the closest example of that in my life. I never thought that my job, my family, and my special friendship would lead me to a state of depression (i.e. sudden bouts of crying, acid refluxes, and headaches). So what is this all for? How long should I have to wait for my ‘kaya pala’ moment? Do I still believe it’s coming?

The Lord says in Jeremiah, for I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. But it’s hiding so deep Lord. The prosperous future you have for me seems so elusive. My hope is so scared of surfacing from such deep scars. Where am I to go? To whom shall I go to find solace? I’m so lost Lord. I’m so far from where I thought I would be. Lead me back, step by step. I dont care how small as long as it’s towards you. I need to see you more than ever.

How To YOLO: Go Solo.

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Yolo? Go Solo.

Have you ever been jealous of heroines who would pack their bags, drive off, and disappear for days at a time? I have. I have always believed it to be a brave and bold thing to do. To be able to leave everything behind and reflect on someone’s life – “Am I still in a life that I would want for myself or that God wants for me?” And always, when the heroine comes back, she has this clarity of purpose and action. She always does what she was supposed to do, what she wanted, what she felt was right for her and not what others think is right for her. It leaves me with a surreal feeling that I committed to making it real for me.

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Girl on Fire

jamming session with le composer

jamming session with le composer

I first saw her during our FLEX leadership seminar back in November 2014. She was one of the first people to stand up and share about her life to 200 people she doesn’t know. My pre-version2.0 self was actually scared to open up about my life for fear of judgment but I did not find any trace of hesitation in her. And because of that, I admired her from the start.

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Simply No Place Like Baler

Beautiful Baler

Beautiful Baler

Maraming beses na kitang nilayasan..iniwanan at iba ang pinuntahan, parang babaeng ang hirap kalimutan..Ikaw lamang ang aking laging binabalikan..yes, that’s a Hotdog favorite! But I’m not talking about Manila. If there’s one place I love coming back to, it’s none other than Baler! With so many famous vacation spots in the Philippines, why do I keep coming back? Here are the top 10 reasons why there’s simply no place like Baler. Continue reading

A Snapshot of Quiapo

Quiapo 1909

Quiapo 1909

The busy and narrow streets of Quiapo are daunting to newcomers. We arrived at one in the afternoon, sun at its highest for the day, and pathways stretching in every direction made us feel more uneasy. Quiapo is known not only for its cheap finds and extensive supply of what-have-yous but also for quite a number of pickpockets and snatchers. One would question then how two young sisters (i would still like to think so) would embark on a mission to explore this uncharted territory. Good thing we came ready with our body bags and hidden pockets on my jacket to avoid unwelcome “encounters”. Continue reading

Time First!

Laid back friday it is! 🙂 You can find me here at UP Sunken Garden enjoying the cool wind and beautiful view. I should do this every week – being close to nature and letting things be. I can read a book and listen to music and when I get bored, which happens a lot, I’d be a humble spectator of the people enthusiastically playing soccer and frisbee, which I both suck at.

Offhand, I can see two benefits from doing this. Continue reading