As I was strolling aimlessly among the crowd, a little boy looked up at me with his eyes shimmering with anticipation. He held his hand up signalling that he wants me to carry him. I did not know at that time how much this boy would touch my heart. He was quiet and his head just rested on my shoulder almost the whole time. His brother, John Paul, even went up to me as I was carrying him to stake his claim on his brother. His name is John Michael, he said, 4 years old. A tiny one for a four-year-old, I remember thinking. I learned that they were six in the family and that the two of them were particularly close compared to their other siblings. I should have known as John Paul asked me for the hundredth time if I’ve already given candies to his brother. Even though he did not speak, he would usually hug me and kiss me on the cheek when I ask for one. He didn’t complain when I sat on the bench because my arms were already getting numb. At times, he would look at me with his big puppy dog eyes and then put his head back on my shoulder. He looks really happy with just me carrying him.
I did not realize how much effect this kid had on me until I saw the picture of us together. I just couldn’t get over how his eyes tell so much of him and of me. What I saw was someone fragile, someone who wanted to be loved and cared for, in whatever way I can. What I saw was someone who found me and trusted that I wouldn’t let him down. What I saw was someone who had so much life ahead of him, so much possibilities and that I am somehow responsible for him. I did not see someone helpless, I see someone who is a child of God – vulnerable, trusting, and dreaming. And aren’t we all? I realized that I connected with this kid not only because I felt responsible for his life but also because I saw myself in him. I saw someone I wanted to become. With everything that’s happened in my life, heartaches and disappointments, I sometimes forget to be vulnerable. I sometimes forget that He is the one in control and that I should just trust in him. And that whatever happens in my life, whether I’m up or I’m down, I always have a bright future ahead of me because He has claimed my victory.
It’s funny how I thought I would touch someone’s life and it ended up being the other way around. I am pretty certain he touched my life more than I touched his; heck, he may not even remember me in a week. But every time I look at this picture, I am filled with a sense of calm and love because I am assured that we are both children of God. As long as He is carrying me in his arms, everything will be alright.
JM in He Cares Foundation